Double Standard of Thought

I'd tell you what I think
but you'd tell me I shouldn't think that way
and if I called you out on it,
you'd tell me I shouldn't care what you think.

"If you know what you are going to write when you're writing a poem, it's going to be average." ~ Derek Walcott

Different Lifestyles

I want to be more like you,
but I know you're bad for me
and where I aim to go.

I always looked up to you.
Found you to be something wonderful.

Then I grew up.

I still want to be like you.
You're life is so glamorous,
So full of adventure

And trials, I'm sure.

With the things you do,
I'm sure there's no shortage.

The things you do,
The things you feel free to do,
The way you freely give yourself,

It must be painful.
For you mentally;
and for your family to witness.

But perhaps it's that you don't feel,
anymore,
the pain, or much of anything.

You're so beautiful;
Even chocked full of drugs.
I don't look up to you any more.

But I still wish my life
were a little more
like yours.

Used to Know

Ouch.
Thanks for the consideration.

I'll just pretend like you can't hurt me.
That's how I made it this far.

How many years has it been since we spoke?
Just because I move on
and you messed up your life
Doesn't mean I don't want to be part of it.

Thanks for the notification.
Thanks for the invite.
Thanks for the unfriending.
No thanks for the lack of information.

You always said you'd be around
You always said you'd always be there
Now you're no where to be found.
Now you're not even interested anymore.

Now you're just someone that I used to know.

Needing a Change

I want to be something
other than what I am
Something slightly darker than
what I present myself to be