Youthful Dating

All relationships have an end.
You break-up, you die, you marry,
One of the three,
There is no inbetween.
It all ends in death,
but in the meantime, we must love...

To love and have that love
come to an end
Is an unbelievable pain.
To love is to marry and
To be unable to marry so young
leaves us at an uncertain stalemate.

Where is the point in youthful dating
Is it all a game?
Could it ever last?

It gives us someone to love,
Someone to hold,
Someone to break our, oh so delicate, heart.

Is it really worth
All that is endured?

So Close, Yet So Far

What, when you make something of yourself
Will you remember me then
Remember the times I saved your life
The times you saved mine
Without even knowing it
You’ve done so much for me
What can I do for you?
Sure, I’ve helped you when I could
But that’s what friends are for
How can I ever repay you
I want to give you what I can
But not all of me
You ruined that long ago
You really shouldn’t startle people
I love you with all I am
But not to the fullest
Your one of the best friends to me
Yet, I can’t let you get close
Must keep you at a distance
Maybe someday it could be possible
Not today though, I’m hurt and don’t trust
Someday you’ll be gone
It will be okay, I’ll free you
I will miss you greatly
I understand all I can.

Times

Everything is so different
I couldn't see anything changing
But pretty soon nothing was the same

Isn't that how things always go
Nothing can ever stay the same for long
The only thing that doesn't change is the fact things do

What's to be done
When everything is different
And you don't recognize any surroundings

It's not right to bury yourself away from society
Though so many do, only to discover
It doesn't really help

Often things get worse when secluded
Eventually we all must come out
Come out and face the world

Times come and times go, and
I'm not sure if this one is
Coming or going

Change of Course

Now I must find my way
Define a new course in my life
Decide where to go from here

I trust no one to the fullest extent
Am old enough not to have decisions made for me
Yet, not old enough to be given full responsibility

I won't know what to do when I get there
It'll be wonderful to have full charge
Of this thing so loosely called life

Stand

I must stand against every thing
Or I’ll fall and die
Under the trample of friends.

We must not break
If we bend,
We’ll go in half.

They can’t come near
They won’t get close
I won’t stand for it.

So I’ll fall
Fall and die
Under those who were my friends.

Dreaming

I musn't daydream.
I can't let go of myself.
Once I'm gone, I have no control.

I think too much,
Search for answers,
When I can't find them.
I dream them and
Change my life.

It doesn't work.
I only slip farther;
Farther and farther in.

One day I won't come back.
What then?
They'll have to just let me be.
Let me go.
But they won't, they'll at least try.

They'll try to pull me back.
Bring me to consciousness.
Maybe I just won't ever come to.

What of everyone then?
Some will genuinely miss me,
Some will have known,
There will be those too,
Who won't even notice.

Not that that's necessarily bad.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion,
Of me and my ways.

They will think how I was,
Remember when I changed.
Some will have known I needed help,
Some would never have guessed.
And I would confirm some theories.

But what of me?
That's of them,
How will I be?

Gone.
Gone of this world.
Mentally in the next,
Physically here
Though not responding.

Maybe someday I'll come to,
Find myself a grown adult,
And not sure where to go.

My life, wasted away,
Out of my control,
And also that of others.
Where will I go then?
All because I was dreaming...

His Purpose

Indifference is not an option,
Go with the Godly choice.
If you’re not sure, give it to
God with prayer.
He has a path set out for us.
Ask for guidance and direction.
He will lead you in his way,
If you will only let go and turn it over.
Give it to him and leave it.
He will take it, take it all,
Mend and fix it to his purpose.

Wicked

Something wicked,
this way comes.
I can feel it,
feel it well.
It’s coming, coming,
Can’t you tell?
Inside us all,
it’s there, deep inside,
corrupting each and all.

We can’t escape it.
We can’t hide it.
It’s there for always,
Turning us against each other.

Sometimes we must stop,
stop to pick the gravel out,
out of our eyes.
Thus allowing us to see,
see clearly, what it is we do
to others, thinking only of ourselves.

Afraid

I'm afraid...
I'm afraid of him,
I'm afraid of myself,
I'm afraid of what I used to be,
I'm afraid of what's happening,
And where I might go.

Perception

tickle me blue
w/ the knife of your blade

look at me straight
and tell me what you see

is it an odd little girl
or a strange little woman?

am I even who I think I am
who I perceive myself to be?

I'm struggling to discover
who it is I've become

does anyone even notice
all the odd little things

...

do my words make sense
or are they in backward order?

You Are To Me

Someone I can talk to and trust,
I cherish all our conversations,
Everything we’ve discussed.

A diamond in the rough,
In a “world so cold,”
Having you is fair enough.

Someone with whom to identify,
Someone to tell everything,
Even if we don’t always see eye to eye.

A best friend, who’s always there,
To listen and talk,
Someone like this is, oh, so rare.

I always enjoy being with you.
Someone with whom to have fun,
And also, gain a new point of view.

My senses you mystify,
With all you do,
My hear you “stupefy.”

I can share with you,
My thoughts, my fears,
My whole life too.

Me feelings for you,
Sometimes hidden and confused,
Are all still true.

Ode to the Flaming Toaster

Once upon a time…
My pop tart exploded.
I didn’t mean for the toaster to be loaded.
Cherry chunks stuck everywhere,
It became as a nightmare.
Was on the phone with Zach,
He had a laughing attack.
There were now flames shooting out,
As I was dashing about.
I shook it in the sink,
As the burnt began to stink.
At this point the toaster was still in flame.
I turned it over, but my attempt was lame.
All at once, I hung up the phone
And got to work, now that I was alone.
While the toaster set in the sink,
I turned on the water to give it a drink.
The flames went out with the water,
And the toaster ceased to get hotter,
Although, the pieces were still stuck,
And with the watter, began to turn to muck.
I began to scrape it out with a knife,
As if to save my life.
When most of it was gone,
I let out a large yawn,
And put the toaster back,
…Until its next attack.

love

love,
i think it is.
some time or another,
it comes after us all.
you never know who or when,
why or how,
it just happens.
everyone finds their own way
to express it.
some through affection,
some through poetry, music, song, dance
some through death or other ways.
when love picks you,
you can run, can hide, but
you can't get away.
once you know it, you can't deny it.
it is horribly lovely and
sweetly painful.

SI

Hi there again, my friend.
Have you come to take away my pain?
Or cause me more?

I trusted my life with you,
Everything was so much better.
For a while anyway.

Then I became obsessed with you.
I wanted you with me always.
For a while I neglected other things.

I wish I could have kept you,
They made me let go.
But sometimes I wonder…

Haven’t seen you for such a time,
I’m beginning to miss you.
Maybe I should invite you back.

I see you’ve made other friends, too.
Don’t hurt them like you hurt me,
Let them go while they have a chance.

I don’t know what to do about you,
In memory, you’ll remain with me forever,
However, the evidence will never stay.

When I Give In

I will not succumb to this,
You cannot make me,
I will not give in.

But, oh, you’re so tempting.
I must resist,
I cannot give in.

What if I did?
What would it hurt?
I shouldn’t give in

I think I’m slipping,
I’m getting closer
to giving in.

I’ve done it again.
Why do I allow myself
To give in like this?

I know better.
I only end up hurting,
When I give in.

She Just Laughed

I can’t believe her,
She just laughed.

I couldn’t tell her,
I thought it would break her heart.

But, when she heard,
She just laughed.

She couldn’t have expected it,
But, she just laughed.

Moments

Moments of anger, moments of rage,
Sometimes the tears take over,
I sit and think about things,
In my mind, turning them over.

What's wrong with me?
I'm a happy person
Until the other side takes over.
Am I a skitzo person?

I am beautiful, I know that
My problems aren't like others
Teen girls have beauty issues
I'm not like this, I'm one of the others.

This is a poem to myself
To help me find myself out
I need to see who I am
So I can let this person out.

Writing is a big part of my life
For me it's a relief
Let's me express my mood,
It's a harmless sort of relief.

Poetry

Poems are my diary,
I write differently than most.
People ask if they can read,
Usually, no…
Again, it’s like my diary.
No one reads one,
So the other?

Sometimes they rhyme,
Sometimes they are just thoughts
broken by a new line.
I write what I think,
feel,
have felt,
see,
and anything else.

Poetry is freedom of speech,
Say what you want,
How you want.
Write it whenever, wherever.
In you own form
And fashion.

Do not ever
Condem someone’s poetry.
Even if it’s not how you write.
Even if it doesn’t rhyme.
You don’t understand it,
Don’t condem it,
Leave it alone.

Emotions

Cold rain drops,
Falling on my face,
Wondering who I am,
As I stare off into space.

Warm tear drops,
Running down my cheek,
Help me up please,
I'm feeling so weak.

Cool rain drops,
Splashing on my face,
Wondering what's happening,
As my heart begins to race.

Hot tear drops,
Searing down my cheek,
I cry, and cry,
I think I've sprung a leak.

Hot, Cold, Warm, Cool,
It's all running into one.
All these sensations,
Have just begun.

Something Wrong With Me

I want to tell
someone
But who? How?
What do I explain?
I don’t know (what’s wrong)

Who do I trust
to tell
It’s not that I don’t
trust
people
I just don’t know who I can
trust
I want to tell…
it would help me
know how I feel
…listen?

I want to get this out
There must be
something wrong
with me
I’m sure.