Not on Your Level

I am not on your level.
I will not allow you
to drag me
down
to your level.

This is not your game.
This is not
a game.
This is my life.
I make the decisions.

I will not stoop
to you
to your level
to your pettiness.
Grow up.

some things don't go away with high school

None of our stories are really all that different.
High school drama, betrayal, and back stabbery.
We're all a little warped from it,
but it makes us who we are.

Some, even with lots of trauma
still come out okay.
It's those who look down on themselves
that we should worry about.

Me - End of a Decade

I'm unlike any other and original just like the rest. I fill my time with IT work, online classes, and SGA IT stuff. I love music, computers, and words. Hobbies include: riding my bike, mixing drinks, loving on my cat, various sorts of artsy things, fixing, and organizing stuff. I wish I had more time to read, but I always find time for xkcd. I like digging junk out of dumpsters and giving mine away (on freecycle). I cut my own hair. I like mushroom hats, classy people, and dry humor. Most of my clothing is dark, "earthy" colors, beyond that, I believe any day is a good day to wear black.

Apartment

Daydreaming about living somewhere with sunlight and windows that open
A place where I don't have to use my stove top as a counter top
Somewhere to breathe, somewhere with room to grow

Daydreaming about living somewhere with room for my cat(s)
Somewhere to go out and run without traffic to worry
Looking for a place with room to stretch

Daydreaming about wood floors, high ceilings, windows with a breeze
Someplace with storage room and a closet or two
Somewhere with a ceiling more than six feet tall

Looking for a safe place to settle myself down
Somewhere without metal lattice on the windows
A place that doesn't smell like wet dog carpet

I like my cave, but some days it can be overwhelming
It's close to campus, It's affordable, It's bearable
But some days it's barely livable

Take a Breath

Angry!
[Shoddy] shirt
[Witchy] sales people
Language, Sarah!

Broken computer.
Failing cellular.
Behind in classes.
Lists at work.

Patience.

Computer being fixed for free.
Waiting on a new phone.
Writing a paper.
Raise in my pay.

Professor

She is a female
She is a homosexual
She is a professional
She is an amazing woman

To you is she just a stupid lesbian?

She was my professor
...twice
and was to be again
...multiple times

To you was she just a teacher?

We refuse to let her go
We will keep her here if we can
If not, we will,
at least in our reflections.

You're Selling Yourself Short

Stupid girls.
Why can't you become women -
think for yourselves
like you for your
stop selling your body
to those other girls
       for them to judge
telling you what to be
       skinner
       taller
       tanner
       buy bigger boobs
       buy smaller – shorter – tighter clothing
       you can't eat that
       too many calories
       we have to diet
       go to the gym
       don't talk to them
       (they are a nerd)
STOP
selling your bodies for them to judge.
You don't need them.
You don't need to pay for friends.

Poor little girl.
Don't you know any better?
Did no one elver tell you they love you
       - without asking you for sex?
Has no one ever told you you're pretty
       - just the way you are?
Have you not been appreciated
       - for using your own brain?

Pretty girl.
Wake up.
Look around.
There is more to the world
than this.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I feel like a 20 year old
I feel like a college student
I feel like I look like who I should be
Do I look like who I am?

Quiet

Stupid people above me.
Stomping.
Goodness. It's midnight.
Go to bed!
Me? I'm not in bed?
No. Of course not.
...but at least I'm quiet.

a moment of muse

Here I sit.
A misdeclared CS major
in the Engineering building.
Not knowing what I am doing.
So I whittle away at the wires
and their protective plastic casing
with my pocket knife,
while listening to Beethoven's
most elegant and brooding
moonlight sonata.

It ends.
I play it again.
Cut away a little more yellow
a little more plastic
a little more wire
a little more life.
Slowly drifting away
as with the moonlight sonata.

Life, it ebbs, it flows,
comes and goes.
So much is spent, wasted away
questioning the past.
Not listening to the music that is the present,
the beauty that is the now.

Keep Smiling

It's my 20th birthday.
I'm depressed.
I feel like a whore.
I might as well keep the charade going
and dress in pretty colors...

Past Life

I feel sleep begin to descend
I think only of you with me
I recall high school.
All of it.
The light here reminds me of Mrs. Akers' class.
And the mind frame, my past life.

I am too young to have a "past life"
yes?
no?
I used to be someone else.
I am different now.
I am who I was, fulfilled.
and still fulfilling.
You fulfill me.
Can I say this?
Is this bad?

Save our Nation

In honor of V-Tech.


Nine-eleven, it made me shudder
but that was when I was young
before I was initiated to the harsh reality of America
before I realized that tragedies do happen
- and our nation needs to band together
not only when 31 are shot-up by a mentally unstable American
not a South Korean, an American.

We can't go blaming other countries for the ills which befall us
It's our fault.
As a nation, As a people
We discriminate against those who are perfectly stable
and choose not to help those who need it
It's our fault
We go blaming one another
Your fault. My fault. His fault.
NO!
It's our fault.

Every new decade, every new era
A new tragedy strikes...
We remember who we are
We remember we need to stand together
But in-between, never.

It's our fault.
We must take our own in
help them, save them, teach them
We must accept our blame
Correct our follies
And band together to save our nation.

Music Appreciation

They play my music
my hand shakes
she rambles on about opera
he, behind me, clicks,
- - - - - - - - - clacks the keys
we disappointed her, she says
I don't particularly care
us four in the back, sleepy

Monetary Issues

I know I should care
- but I don't
"You may not have enough money"
- fine
I'll get it somewhere
- loan?
Can it really be a problem?
- denial
It'll come from somewhere
- right?
I'll get a job
- just not right now
I have class
- and reading to do

College Daze

I want to write
I want to yell out
what it is I have to put on paper

I have college
I have class
...I have friends

I want sleep
I need to go to bed at night
but life is good

Class has not started
I am dozing
There is no teacher

Who Am I?

I am a confused young lady
who feels she does not know much about herself
but sees she is changing.

I am a computer addict
who is online whenever possible
and often puts it in front of other responsibilities.

I am a lover of music
who enjoys Enya, Black Sabbath, and Nelly
but can not carry a tune in her own head.

I am a writer less than I would like
who was ecstatic when published
and hoping for more chances of the same.

I am an independent teenager
who can take care of everything herself
but is still dependent on her parents.

I am a college bound student
who is a successful slacker
and yet is passing all her classes.

I am a drama nerd
who is involved in every school production
but is afraid of the stage (and herself).

I am just a geeky little girl
who looks at herself, questioning, wondering,
and can not quite tell who she should be.

I am a soccer player
who loves the game over many things
but would rather do anything than practice.

I am a bare foot babe
who hates shoes
and loves climbing trees.

I am an outsider, and probably always will be
who has many acquaintances
but very few friends.

I am a student of life
who wants to experience things hands on
and occasionally gets herself in too deep.

I am a rebellious spirit
who wants to go against everything
but rarely does.

I am a small child at heart
who wants to stick her finger in the peanut butter
and eat the cookie dough.

I am an untrusting individual
who resents anyone who tries to help
but wants one person who understands.

I am a lover of words
who yearns to expound upon my vocabulary
and yet cannot spell elementary words.

I am an ear full of piercings
who tastefully wants more
but must wait till the time is right.

I am a canvas made of skin
who paints its portraits with clothing
and accessories of all genres.

I am a hunter
who has yet to get her first deer
but is still determined.

I am an indecisive homo sapien
who is unsure how to classify herself
and is not sure she fits anywhere.

I am a Christian
who is not always sure how she feels
but knows her faith non-the-less.

I am an only child
who has three sisters
and one living brother.

I am a night owl
who will stay up till all hours of the morning
but do not wake me once I am sleeping.

I am a beautiful young lady
who is a myriad of things
and continues to improve on herself.

Diverse

Who am I?
I hang around with
the kids who wear black
and some who are.

Days To Come

succeed with life
inspired to write
think of being different
gotta model the best way

sometimes you won't change
I caught myself

distorted future
clouded dreams
sober visions

its using friends to learn
smoking is bad
college is abusing
and life's not through
till you've lived it all

I

I am from the middle of nowhere, woodpile climbing, and fishing in the horse trough.
I am from starting school, sister’s weddings, and from kittens, and playing piano.
I am from vacations, computers, and always friends.
I am from reports, guys, and the phone ringing off the hook.
I am from boyfriends, make-up, art, and running.
I am from church, camp, writing, teachers, and friends.
I am from high school, stress, cappichano, and house keys.
I am from soccer, break-ups, web cams, and piercings.
I am from deer hunting, depression, and burnt CDs.
I am from poetry, driving, NHS, and family.