Grr

Hatred.
Stupid.
Angry.

Life doesn't have to be like this.
...Right?

God(s) help me.

Walls That Need to Come Down

I have decided something.
I want to tell you what all is in my head.
Only I don't know where to start.
Or when for that matter.
I'm kinda afraid that I will change my mind,
but I am sick of these walls in my head.
I don't know how to begin either.
I will for sure need your help.
So here I go,
swallowing my pride,
asking, begging you to listen to my rambling,
tell me what you think of what I say
give me your thoughts,
tell me some of my own if you must.
You are in my head anyway.

I am sick of these walls.
I want you to be the one to break them down.
I trust you.
I'm not sure why.
I really don't know you.
I think we need more conversation.
Conversation fosters friendship
and we sure as hell need something to base this on.

But that's just what I think.

I think lots of things when it comes down to it.
Think. Wander. Become curious...
so many things.

perhaps some other time.
obviously not tonight.
but I shall talk to you when next the chance arises.

Tears in my Voice

I need to talk to you,
but I can't right now.
I want you to know how bad I hurt,
but I don't want you to hear
the tears in my voice.

your mood is curious...

I want to tell you everything about me.
I want you to know my whole life.
You know me so well, but there is still more.
I want you to be the one I tell.

Please Stop

Helplessness
and vague memories of helplessness.
I'm laughing so you think all is okay.
I'm laughing because I'm being hit with a pillow.
I can't help it.
I'm laughing.
I can't fight back.
I'm helpless.
I'm scared.
(Please stop.)
I can't say so because he never would.
I couldn't let him know I was scared.
Keep laughing.
Please stop.

Reaching Out

I'm reaching out
grabbing for the closest hand

will it be yours
that pulls me to my feet?

I'm wanting someone,
something

is it you?
is it this?

I know what I'm hoping for
but is it really what I want?

Longing

I long for a gentle touch.
Just to know someone cares.
Wrap your arms around me,
Just let me cry.
I don’t want you,
I just want to know
that someone wants to care.

The Friend

I say to you my friend,
Will you pick me up
When I fall?
You respond that it depends
How far I fall.

I say to you my friend,
Do you see what it is I've become
Will you help me?
You look at me and do not see
You look right through me.

I look at you, my friend,
And see
I have nothing to hope for in you.

I say to You my Friend,
Will You help me up
When I stumble?
You answer me,
I will guide your steps, so you do not stumble.

I say to You my Friend,
Do You see how I have strayed,
grown away from You?
You still regard me as an old friend,
And pull me into an eternal embrace.

I look to You, my Friend,
And see
I have everything to hope for in You.

Something Wrong With Me

I want to tell
someone
But who? How?
What do I explain?
I don’t know (what’s wrong)

Who do I trust
to tell
It’s not that I don’t
trust
people
I just don’t know who I can
trust
I want to tell…
it would help me
know how I feel
…listen?

I want to get this out
There must be
something wrong
with me
I’m sure.