I know You well

I had a moment of panic
Then I realized,
there is nothing to fear;
I know you well.
I know you,
because you are me.

Feeling Boring

What's wrong with me?
Do I shelter myself, still?
Is it because I have high standards and morals?
Am I boring?

Obviously, I'm not boring.
Maybe overly mysterious?
Maybe too hard to know.
Do I need to loosen up some?

Do I hide how boring I am
with how mysterious I appear to be?
Once you break through the mystery,
Maybe there's just a blank expanse.

Well, then.
I suppose I can build on empty;
Paint on a blank canvas;
Create something worth being known for.

Paranoid

I'm only paranoid because I know there are people worse than me.

posted from Bloggeroid

Depressive Birthdays

I'm fat and depressed
What happened?

My birthday always seems
To be less than happy

If I recall,
this is a several year streak

Not the fat,
that's a new thing.

The depressive birthdays.

Try. And Fail.

I try and I try
and I just feel stupid

It's not your fault
It's just the way I am

I hold my head high
and hold the tears back

I round the corner
and let them flow

I try and I succeed
except for that one detail

One detail.
I fail.

WHY did you DO that?
I... I... just thought...

I'm ...sorry
I'll do better next time

Although
A next time is unlikely.

Higher

I don't want to come down. I only want to go higher.

Southern Girl

Boots to my knees
Skirts to my thighs

A gun tucked in my left boot
A flask deep in the right

...

posted from Bloggeroid

Effect

If you don't know how I'm feeling,
You don't know me very well.

If you have no desire to read what I say,
I tell myself you still care, just not my way.

If you don't know why I listen to what I do,
Then you've never been here before.

If my emotionless state dumbfounds you,
You don't affect me deep enough.

If you question what I say,
You're getting closer to the truth.

If I hear one more time that "it'll all be okay,"
I might show you that it's not.

You push, I pull. You pull, I push.
Nothing will ever be resolved.

At Odds

Why can I not draw cohesive lines
between who I am and what I like?

A combination of many little pieces
of many parts
of life. As a whole,
I do not properly fit anywhere.

Someday,
this combination that you so like in me,
darkness and light,
will rip me asunder.

posted from Bloggeroid

my favorite way to learn is the hard way

yeah...

Psycho Bitch

Psycho Bitch.
That's what we'll call you.
Crazy all the way through.

Needy.
Attention Seeker.
Compulsive Liar.
How do I believe
anything you say??

Listening.
Allowing you to confide,
Up until your downfall.

Sneaky.
Double Agent.
Concealer of the Truth.
How am I any better
than you.

New Job

New job coming.
Starting a career.
Four dollar raise.
Newer laptop.
Half of a cube.
My own computer.
I'm almost a real person . . .

Me - End of a Decade

I'm unlike any other and original just like the rest. I fill my time with IT work, online classes, and SGA IT stuff. I love music, computers, and words. Hobbies include: riding my bike, mixing drinks, loving on my cat, various sorts of artsy things, fixing, and organizing stuff. I wish I had more time to read, but I always find time for xkcd. I like digging junk out of dumpsters and giving mine away (on freecycle). I cut my own hair. I like mushroom hats, classy people, and dry humor. Most of my clothing is dark, "earthy" colors, beyond that, I believe any day is a good day to wear black.

Interesting Individual

My head is going crazy with thoughts about you
I hope you're not picking up on my mixed signals
Yours are clear enough - or so I think

I must be careful, can't let you become another one,
Another causality of my independence
You intrigue me, though, and pique my mind.

You fascinate me thoroughly and make me wonder...
I would like to sit and talk with you,
Some evening, perhaps all night

This must stay simple and innocent
The chatting, the charm (of newness)
Perhaps we should have a drink some time


...Should I mention?
You appeared in my dream last night.
I don't remember most of it, but
You did have a full back tattoo.

Not For Keeps

"Leggsy", "sexxy", turned on.
Back off.
I'm quite reserved.

Thanks for the ego boost
but I'm not yours
don't think I'm playing for keeps
even if I am playing games

To the Other Drivers

I like to play my chick rock louder than your music
I like to drive my car faster than yours
I like to ignore you and pretend that you care

Goth

I miss my inner goth
the darkness so beautiful,
the days I could stare in your eyes,
the nights of wakefulness
until the breath of dawn.

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago
you were two years younger than me.

Today I am here
wondering how this could be.

When I was ten
you were writing me.

Now I am reading you
and learning for me.

Thoughts on Attitude

I tend to be a little too proper
I value people and things that are classy
On the other hand I am very much a country girl
and at times can be a little [crude].

Computer Geek

I am a computer geek of the highest sort
I <3 them
but sometimes I feel like I don't know enough.
I haven't had the experience that one should have.
I desire to soak up computer info.
I want to learn what I can.
I know I don't want to program.
I don't know what I want to do.

I dual boot.
With Grub, of course.
I run Linux,
when I can get past the fsck.
I run Vista
when I need mass-marketed things.

I've never built my own,
but I have torn apart.
I know enough to ask the right questions
and just enough to get myself into trouble.
I spend my time wandering the interwebs
and don't make the time I should to study
even for the things that I want to learn.