I found a picture of us

I found a picture of us together
Look at us, we look so happy.
What ever even happened?
I went away to college.
We never saw each other. The distance was just too much.
But all the times before that,
it never really worked then, either.
We tried, and tried again.
Love and sexuality and common interest
somehow wasn't enough.
We were both intellictuals
fascinated in all the ways of the world.
We dreamed big, but never seemed to achieve.
You dreamed big and never seemed to achieve.
I never really dreamed, just bumbled my way along,
desperate to leave town.
You were so quite
and always so sorry.
"It's not your fault."
"I'm still sorry."

I found a picture of us together.
We looked so happy, it brought some tears to my eyes.
Our stars just never aligned.

Louder, Louder...

Maybe if I turn the music
up loud enough I won't
be able
to hear my own thoughts
blaring, racing
through my head

Transparency

Am I too transparent?
Not transparent enough?
Or is it that I just go about it
the wrong way?

Everything I Am Reminds Me of You

I'm terrified of reinventing myself
However, sometimes I'm not sure
that there's any other option.
Everything that I am
reminds me of you
and us
and what was
and everything that wasn't
and isn't
and cannot
Be.

Doubly Inflicted

Such a small scale
Such a precarious balance
Taken so far granted

Doubly inflicted.

Normalcy

Don't You tell me
what normal is or
what normal does.
For neither of us care much
for this Normalcy.

posted from Bloggeroid

Never Can Kill This Thing

I feel like
I'll never kill this
thing that looms
over my past
present
and undeniably
questionable
perhaps my
future

posted from Bloggeroid

Your Choices are Yours

The moar I've had to drink,
The less sorry I feel for you

You made the choices
To be who you are

posted from Bloggeroid

:)

A little bit of alcohol
Some good electronic music
Prompts a headful of thoughts
I can entertain myself for hours

posted from Bloggeroid