Everything I Am Reminds Me of You

I'm terrified of reinventing myself
However, sometimes I'm not sure
that there's any other option.
Everything that I am
reminds me of you
and us
and what was
and everything that wasn't
and isn't
and cannot
Be.

A New Me

I don't know who I am anymore
I peg other people
know how they will respond
I peg myself
try to tell others how I will respond,
how i think I will respond,
how I think I should respond,
How I've responded before.

I'm really not sure who i am though
I need to realign myself with my identity
Or perhaps find my identity
but where to look if
I'm not who I was
and don't know who to be


I must be careful
not to base off anyone else
make my own self:
Who I am,
What I think,
only.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I feel like a 20 year old
I feel like a college student
I feel like I look like who I should be
Do I look like who I am?

Recovery Phase

I need to keep check on my feelings
Find out what's going on
Why I'm feeling this way

I think I am falling hard and fast

Thank you for being stronger than me
While I discover who I am and
Recover from who I used to be

A Little About Me

I am called a hippie
I am called the black plague
I have been mistaken for a freak
...go figure ;)
I listen to a little of all music
I like hunting for Bambi's daddy
I don't like people
...some individuals are okay
I don't like putting chemicals into my body
I drink mostly water
I recycle my water bottles
I don't hug trees
...but prefer to climb them
I like climbing lots of things
I am really a little kid
...but very much an adult
I don't like other people's kids
I will have my own someday
...they will know how to behave
I dislike people who choose to be unintelligent
I am not a fan of people calling "just to talk"
...but always have to have my phone
I am textually active
...but not sexually active
I am addicted to technology
...but enjoy times when it is stripped away from me
I love to go out and run
...even though I don't do it
I like to sit down for hours with a good book
...tho I don't do that often either
I do write a lot and often
...and random things, such as this

I am ME

I am me. I am no one else.
I will do as I please.
I will not conform to your expectations.

I am. I will. I do.

Scared Little Girl

I hold onto it with a clinched fist
It is a precious jewel
The core of who I am
I am not all the silly things I do

Look at Me

Look at me.
People look at me
and see
"who I am"
a good girl
an innocent girl
perfect
beautiful
got it all going for her

"She" is such a hypocrite
that couldn't be farther from the truth.
I hate me
I hate what I've become
I hate you
I hate this world
I am so full of a stinking hate
I always have been.
I've hidden it so well,
for so many years.

No one knows
Not even me
I don't allow it
I struggle with myself
because I hide myself from myself
I am afraid of what I'll find
I know what I would find
So I block it all away
from myself

I do bad things
I am a bad person
I wish bad things
I see/hear/taste bad things
I want bad people
I am bad

I am a sinner
I am human
I am an egotist

I love me
I love you
I love him

I hate this world.

Who Am I Not

Who am I not,
I am not a slut
I am not a whore
I am not a heroin addict
I am not pregnant
-nor have I ever been
I do not take hits of acid
-on a regular basis or not
I am not in a cult
I do not worship the devil
I do hate you
I am not easy
I am not a sadist
I am not a lesbian
I am not any number of things which You have pegged me
I am, however, myself
And I will continue to be who I am and not who you have made me out to be

Who Am I?

I am a confused young lady
who feels she does not know much about herself
but sees she is changing.

I am a computer addict
who is online whenever possible
and often puts it in front of other responsibilities.

I am a lover of music
who enjoys Enya, Black Sabbath, and Nelly
but can not carry a tune in her own head.

I am a writer less than I would like
who was ecstatic when published
and hoping for more chances of the same.

I am an independent teenager
who can take care of everything herself
but is still dependent on her parents.

I am a college bound student
who is a successful slacker
and yet is passing all her classes.

I am a drama nerd
who is involved in every school production
but is afraid of the stage (and herself).

I am just a geeky little girl
who looks at herself, questioning, wondering,
and can not quite tell who she should be.

I am a soccer player
who loves the game over many things
but would rather do anything than practice.

I am a bare foot babe
who hates shoes
and loves climbing trees.

I am an outsider, and probably always will be
who has many acquaintances
but very few friends.

I am a student of life
who wants to experience things hands on
and occasionally gets herself in too deep.

I am a rebellious spirit
who wants to go against everything
but rarely does.

I am a small child at heart
who wants to stick her finger in the peanut butter
and eat the cookie dough.

I am an untrusting individual
who resents anyone who tries to help
but wants one person who understands.

I am a lover of words
who yearns to expound upon my vocabulary
and yet cannot spell elementary words.

I am an ear full of piercings
who tastefully wants more
but must wait till the time is right.

I am a canvas made of skin
who paints its portraits with clothing
and accessories of all genres.

I am a hunter
who has yet to get her first deer
but is still determined.

I am an indecisive homo sapien
who is unsure how to classify herself
and is not sure she fits anywhere.

I am a Christian
who is not always sure how she feels
but knows her faith non-the-less.

I am an only child
who has three sisters
and one living brother.

I am a night owl
who will stay up till all hours of the morning
but do not wake me once I am sleeping.

I am a beautiful young lady
who is a myriad of things
and continues to improve on herself.

Diverse

Who am I?
I hang around with
the kids who wear black
and some who are.

Try To Live It

I go to church
I bow
my head

I mean it
I try to live it

I feel like such a hypocrite
So many times

I weigh what I do
or don't
do

But do I do
what
I say?

I go to church
I bow
to God

I mean it
I try to live it

Dear God

What is it you want from me?
Why is it you have placed me here?
Why is it that I ask so many questions?

Angry Inside

the anger,
the pain,
I feel it.
don't understand it.
want to express it.
don't know how.

so I write in red,
to show my furry.
and yet, I don't know
from wince it cometh.

I don't know myself
any longer.
the pills, the drugs,
they changed me
...in a way I don't understand,
or maybe they just covered
it all so I couldn't see.

I am angry inside and I don't understand why.

Perception

tickle me blue
w/ the knife of your blade

look at me straight
and tell me what you see

is it an odd little girl
or a strange little woman?

am I even who I think I am
who I perceive myself to be?

I'm struggling to discover
who it is I've become

does anyone even notice
all the odd little things

...

do my words make sense
or are they in backward order?