At Odds

Why can I not draw cohesive lines
between who I am and what I like?

A combination of many little pieces
of many parts
of life. As a whole,
I do not properly fit anywhere.

Someday,
this combination that you so like in me,
darkness and light,
will rip me asunder.

posted from Bloggeroid

Losing My Religion

I'm trying to figure out
just when, just where
I lost my religion
perhaps I left it
on the pew in some old church
maybe I dropped it
just outside the door
could it be still sitting
on my parent's kitchen table
Did I loose it or did I let it go?...
did I toss it out
on my way home from class
did I delete it with my email
did I give it away
to make room for other things
Where, when
We may never know
just what became of me.
Perhaps, now, I can think clearly
and reformulate my own views.

Believe

Yes, I do believe
in the powers that be,
higher and above and beyond me.

I Wasn't Alone

Depression.
I've been there.
But I didn't want to give up.
I wasn't alone.
It was dark all around
I may have been afraid
But I wasn't alone
I had someone there with me
Holding my right hand*
I had you, God, guiding me
In, and through,
to the light at the end
I was never alone
Even the times I was lonely
I was never alone


*Isiah 41:10-13

Prayer Room

Mighty Father,
Holy God,
Jesus!

You are mighty
holy
all powerful
and just.

You are unique,
creative,
all imaginable,
and immensely kind!

*Handshake*

God's plans will work out like a successful TCP/IP handshake.

God Marquee

God.
to us.
is like a marquee.
if we will actually tune in
and pay attention.
what he wants
will continue to scroll across our mind.
each time
we may catch something different.

Who Am I?

I am a confused young lady
who feels she does not know much about herself
but sees she is changing.

I am a computer addict
who is online whenever possible
and often puts it in front of other responsibilities.

I am a lover of music
who enjoys Enya, Black Sabbath, and Nelly
but can not carry a tune in her own head.

I am a writer less than I would like
who was ecstatic when published
and hoping for more chances of the same.

I am an independent teenager
who can take care of everything herself
but is still dependent on her parents.

I am a college bound student
who is a successful slacker
and yet is passing all her classes.

I am a drama nerd
who is involved in every school production
but is afraid of the stage (and herself).

I am just a geeky little girl
who looks at herself, questioning, wondering,
and can not quite tell who she should be.

I am a soccer player
who loves the game over many things
but would rather do anything than practice.

I am a bare foot babe
who hates shoes
and loves climbing trees.

I am an outsider, and probably always will be
who has many acquaintances
but very few friends.

I am a student of life
who wants to experience things hands on
and occasionally gets herself in too deep.

I am a rebellious spirit
who wants to go against everything
but rarely does.

I am a small child at heart
who wants to stick her finger in the peanut butter
and eat the cookie dough.

I am an untrusting individual
who resents anyone who tries to help
but wants one person who understands.

I am a lover of words
who yearns to expound upon my vocabulary
and yet cannot spell elementary words.

I am an ear full of piercings
who tastefully wants more
but must wait till the time is right.

I am a canvas made of skin
who paints its portraits with clothing
and accessories of all genres.

I am a hunter
who has yet to get her first deer
but is still determined.

I am an indecisive homo sapien
who is unsure how to classify herself
and is not sure she fits anywhere.

I am a Christian
who is not always sure how she feels
but knows her faith non-the-less.

I am an only child
who has three sisters
and one living brother.

I am a night owl
who will stay up till all hours of the morning
but do not wake me once I am sleeping.

I am a beautiful young lady
who is a myriad of things
and continues to improve on herself.

Try To Live It

I go to church
I bow
my head

I mean it
I try to live it

I feel like such a hypocrite
So many times

I weigh what I do
or don't
do

But do I do
what
I say?

I go to church
I bow
to God

I mean it
I try to live it

Dear God

What is it you want from me?
Why is it you have placed me here?
Why is it that I ask so many questions?

Light

Light is our guiding factor.
We look to the sun
for guidance in the day.
We look to the stars
for guidance in the night.
We look to the Son
for guidance in the worst of times.

Leave Room For the Wrath of God

If we fight and argue
We become no better,
gain nothing.
We must turn the other cheek,
Be rid of all our bitterness,
Leave room for the wrath of God.
Be rid of your grudges.
Be kind and passionate,
to all mankind.

Un-Boxed

I feel as though
I’ve been living my life,
living my faith
contained in a box.

Jesus,
release me,
Jesus,
untie me,
Jesus,
open my box.

I long to live for you.

Go With Me

I want to take you
with me
on that day of judgment
that day when we rise
rise to meet our Maker
our Creator
our Savior
when we meet out Maker
I want you to go with me
on that day

The Friend

I say to you my friend,
Will you pick me up
When I fall?
You respond that it depends
How far I fall.

I say to you my friend,
Do you see what it is I've become
Will you help me?
You look at me and do not see
You look right through me.

I look at you, my friend,
And see
I have nothing to hope for in you.

I say to You my Friend,
Will You help me up
When I stumble?
You answer me,
I will guide your steps, so you do not stumble.

I say to You my Friend,
Do You see how I have strayed,
grown away from You?
You still regard me as an old friend,
And pull me into an eternal embrace.

I look to You, my Friend,
And see
I have everything to hope for in You.

Magnified

God is good.
God is all things good.
He is magnified into perfection.
There are no words,
intelligible to us
with which he can describe himself.
Hence: he is the "I AM."
He is, he was, he will always be.
He is all good magnified.

Victory

crucifixion
cruel, inhuman
beating, whipping, nailing
pain, blood, holy, pure
rising, shining, forgiving
perfect, sinless
resurrection

His Purpose

Indifference is not an option,
Go with the Godly choice.
If you’re not sure, give it to
God with prayer.
He has a path set out for us.
Ask for guidance and direction.
He will lead you in his way,
If you will only let go and turn it over.
Give it to him and leave it.
He will take it, take it all,
Mend and fix it to his purpose.

My Story

Turning endless pages of this tragedy,
My life; here today, gone tomorrow.
All my experiences, from my Lord I borrow.

Good moments, and bad too,
They're all apart of my history,
Planed by God, for me; My story.

Through all that has happened,
And that which has yet to come,
A better Christian I will become.