Thoughts on Attitude

I tend to be a little too proper
I value people and things that are classy
On the other hand I am very much a country girl
and at times can be a little [crude].

"Have you ever been in love?"

i have felt love,
i have been loved,
i have loved,
but have i been in love,
no.
i suppose not.

*Bone Marrow*

Some time last spring Smiley and Drew decided to go to a blood drive and donate. I tagged along for lack of a more interesting afternoon. While there, on a short and random spark of goodwill towards mankind, I opted to sign up to be a bone marrow donor. I debated with myself for a bit and almost decided not do it, but in the end, I went ahead and signed up with the National Marrow Donor Program.

Insert now -many months later- a lady calls my house and tells my mother that I have come up as a match in their database. My mom, not really sure about what she wants, takes her number instead of giving her a way to contact me.

I talk to my mom on Friday and she informs me that I have been matched and the recipient will be a 61 old male. This is all the info I get. My first thought is that I would be more supportive if it were a young person with a lot of life left to live. My next, and quite deeply felt, thought is that this is the age of my father. Despite 61 sounding old, I look at my parents and realize that someone of this age (having taken care of their health) can also still have a lot of time left.

I wait till Monday and call the lady, Bobbie, back. Explaining who I am she sounds a little surprised, perhaps that I actually called back. With a little relief on my end, she explains to me that they are not after my marrow just yet. I am A match, not necessarily THE match.

She gives me the option of remaining in the program from this point to see how well I do match or, because I am a college student, she tells me I can choose to be suspended from the database until later if I would like. I chose to stay.

They will be doing more testing and may have to draw some blood to continue in the search to see if I am the best match or not. I have no idea how many options are available to this man. It may be many. It may be few.

I should be contacted again some time in February for an update of where things are. IF I am decided as the best match I will find out around April and the procedure will not happen till the beginning of the summer.

I do not have any idea how this will turn out. But it shall be interesting for sure.
I will post updates as I know things.

Walls

Do I not care? Have I never cared?
Of course I care. I always have.
I always will.
Do I hurt?
Should I?
I don't allow myself to hurt.
I just walk away.
Is this good?
I am told it is not.
Does it hurt me?
It just builds my walls a little thicker.

Computer Geek

I am a computer geek of the highest sort
I <3 them
but sometimes I feel like I don't know enough.
I haven't had the experience that one should have.
I desire to soak up computer info.
I want to learn what I can.
I know I don't want to program.
I don't know what I want to do.

I dual boot.
With Grub, of course.
I run Linux,
when I can get past the fsck.
I run Vista
when I need mass-marketed things.

I've never built my own,
but I have torn apart.
I know enough to ask the right questions
and just enough to get myself into trouble.
I spend my time wandering the interwebs
and don't make the time I should to study
even for the things that I want to learn.