Different Lifestyles

I want to be more like you,
but I know you're bad for me
and where I aim to go.

I always looked up to you.
Found you to be something wonderful.

Then I grew up.

I still want to be like you.
You're life is so glamorous,
So full of adventure

And trials, I'm sure.

With the things you do,
I'm sure there's no shortage.

The things you do,
The things you feel free to do,
The way you freely give yourself,

It must be painful.
For you mentally;
and for your family to witness.

But perhaps it's that you don't feel,
anymore,
the pain, or much of anything.

You're so beautiful;
Even chocked full of drugs.
I don't look up to you any more.

But I still wish my life
were a little more
like yours.

Personal Demons

Personal demons.
That is all.
No need for concern.
I just need something.
Numb my brain.
Fog my mind.
Keep me from sleeping.
(Until I have no other choice.)

posted from Bloggeroid

dirty things

we all have our share of dirty things shoved back in dark corners
pouring myself full of liquid drug, loud music, and metal
because i cannot adequately feel anything

My Rave Drugs

Gin and Adrenalin.

Sarah is...

Sarah is
...feeling as alone as ever.

Unique.
...just like everyone else.

Only there is no one else.

Sarah feels a little like a crack addict.
...just keep going back for more.

Legalization

Caffeine is a drug
used for recreational purposes
on a very wide basis.
Just think -
if everyone was smoking
pot instead...
We might have a
peaceful, accepting place
in which to live.

Trip

It hurts me so much.
Why do you do this to yourself
Why do I even care?
It's personal.
It killed my brother
but I don't tell you that.
I don't want to ruin your trip,
because, as you know,
sitting is most important.

I ask people if they've partook.
Typically, no, it's not that common.
But, you? Yes?
You are not supposed to tell me
that you are coming off a trip, now.

I have a strong urge to shatter glass.
I don't know what to do,
how to respond.
Looking at my bottle,
throw it on the floor.
Bad idea.

Angry Inside

the anger,
the pain,
I feel it.
don't understand it.
want to express it.
don't know how.

so I write in red,
to show my furry.
and yet, I don't know
from wince it cometh.

I don't know myself
any longer.
the pills, the drugs,
they changed me
...in a way I don't understand,
or maybe they just covered
it all so I couldn't see.

I am angry inside and I don't understand why.