Drunk and Depressed

drunk and depressed
always leads to the same thing
me calling on you
to talk to me
whining to you
about how we're
so wrong, so right
crying out to anyone
that i don't understand
these things
that I've got myself into

Try - and End with Tears

Try and fail
Maybe next time
Maybe not
Try and end with tears

posted from Bloggeroid

Try. And Fail.

I try and I try
and I just feel stupid

It's not your fault
It's just the way I am

I hold my head high
and hold the tears back

I round the corner
and let them flow

I try and I succeed
except for that one detail

One detail.
I fail.

WHY did you DO that?
I... I... just thought...

I'm ...sorry
I'll do better next time

Although
A next time is unlikely.

Neither Both Or the Other

I swing wildly between
"I love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life with you!!"
to
"What the hell am I thinking??"

I cry myself to sleep
I bawl in the shower
I cry when you're holding me
I sob when you're not.

I love it when you touch me,
squeeze me.
Then I forget who you are for a moment
and drift away.

Away, to things that have been.
Away, to things that could be.
Why isn't this that?
That could never be this.

Why is one so wrong,
both so right,
neither so fulfilling.
That is so wrong.

Confession of Inadequacy

I need you. Why are you so good to me?
I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night.
I have so many thoughts that I long to share with you
I don't even know where to begin.
Do I start at what you want to hear and
End with what you need to know?
Should I subject you to my every struggle?
I love you so much. It makes me cry.
You're so good to me and for me.
Sometimes I almost feel like you're too good for me
Not that I'd use that as a reason to leave
Or to do wrong
But if anything, something to strive toward.

Every time I talk to you

I cry myself to sleep
Every time I talk to you
At the thought of saying goodbye

Over

I've done it
now I must separate myself
It's over
unless I want the pain to grow

I can survive whatever I need to
I protect myself,
so I'm the only one who can hurt me

Someday that will change
and I will cry

Need to feel Alive

I want to scream.
I need to cry.
[it is raining outside
the window is open
a car drives by]


This helpless restriction I feel
I need to feel life
I need to live

Lost

Just to cry,
to let a little out.
but if I lose much more,
I feel I'll be empty

I've poured myself out
and held myself back
somewhere in the stretching,
the pushing, the pulling,
I've lost something very dear to me

depressed sometimes

I feel like a such a crazy girl sometimes.
I try not to get depressed, sometimes.
I don't know what to do / not to
do, say / not to say, though.

I get depressed
I think, I write, I cry;
I smile, I move on.

the end

Why do I feel this way
...still?
I just sit here and cry
(but I'd never admit that to you)
I didn't love him
We both knew that
But I don't know why I'm
still sitting here looking through
tear blurred eyes.

All I can do is write...
How I wish I could call
How I wish I could stop by
(and let you wrap me in your arms)
Neither of us do the 2nd time around thing
...And that's not what I want.
I just want you.

Why?

I Like Books That Make Me Cry

I like books that make me cry,
They evoke sufficient emotion.

Maybe I'm a little too much like Emma Bovary.

I'd never kill myself, though.
but, someone else...sure.
If I can gut a deer, I
can also skin you, too.
My heart is deep.

Deep and black

I don't show it to most
Only those few who need to fear me.

To Cry

to cry,
drop a tear,
gently,
splashing,
a small dot on the paper,
drys up,
is gone,
never there,
no one knows.

Longing

I long for a gentle touch.
Just to know someone cares.
Wrap your arms around me,
Just let me cry.
I don’t want you,
I just want to know
that someone wants to care.

Just Let Me Be

Don’t ask me questions.
Don’t back me into a corner.
Don’t make me lie.
I will be polite,
but it won’t be real.

Just let me cry,
Let me hear my pen.

Wrap me in your arms,
Comfort me.
Don’t tell me it’ll be alright,
it’s not.
Don’t ask me questions,
Just let me be.
Just wrap me in your arms,
Just let me be.

Emotions

Cold rain drops,
Falling on my face,
Wondering who I am,
As I stare off into space.

Warm tear drops,
Running down my cheek,
Help me up please,
I'm feeling so weak.

Cool rain drops,
Splashing on my face,
Wondering what's happening,
As my heart begins to race.

Hot tear drops,
Searing down my cheek,
I cry, and cry,
I think I've sprung a leak.

Hot, Cold, Warm, Cool,
It's all running into one.
All these sensations,
Have just begun.

I am Sarah, Myself

I am Sarah, myself.
I wonder what will become of this world.
I hear myself thinking.
I see what I can be.
I want to do well in life.

I am Sarah, myself.
I pretend to be too much of other people.
I believe there is only one thing to believe.
I touch everything I can see.
I feel wide-awake when I try to sleep.
I worry when I think of certain people.
I cry.

I am Sarah, myself.
I understand I can be no one but myself.
I say life does have a purpose.
I dream in pieces.

I am Sarah, myself.