Why Am I Responsible?

"Why am I responsible?"
Because you're the most responsible.
Because you care the most.
Because if no one else does it, you will.
Because they know you will.

Because you assume they're incompetent.
Because you don't ask.
Because you don't tell.
Because you assume they don't care.
Because they don't; not as much as you.

Question All

I am uncertain whether I begin to question all the facets of life and it leads to a depressed state.
OR
If I near a depressed state and then I begin to question all the facets of life.

Never to be known.

Silver Lining

I hate my job
but life is good

Married

If I married for money
I'd have long moved away from here.

If I married for practicality,
I'd find a chiropractor.

If I married out of passion,
It would have come and gone.

If I married for love,
I'd be right where I am.

posted from Bloggeroid

Progress in Time

Life is a finite thing
Yet the rise of one age
Does not give close to another
Life is a stacking, growing, creeping
Monster
Time progresses

Just as one decade
Lapses into something new
Yet does not draw close
to what came before
So it is
with phases of our own lives

I choose to move toward change
Yet I am not able to eradicate my past
I must keep it
as a sign of where I've been,
what I've seen
the things which I've done

Older. Wiser?

We grow older
And we grow wiser
Sometimes not at the same rate
Sometimes one before the other

posted from Bloggeroid

Grow Up

I don't want to stay immature,
but I never wanna grow up.

CRAZY

CRAZY
I am effin crazy.
What am I thinking?
Am I thinking?
WTF?!

I need to do some serious decision making
I need to pull on my big girl pants
and be honest.
Firstly with myself.
What is it I need to do
in order to move in that direction?
I need to surround myself
with good people and good friends.
I should seek out level-headed,
mature female friends.
I'm tired of the lies of
everyday life,
But Oh! how I perpetuate them myself.
What is it I've become at this level
to which I have sunken myself?
Time to pick up the pieces
and make a slow moasic of
what is left.



"Life is a mystery to be lived,
Not a problem to be solved."
~ Søren Kierkegaard

my favorite way to learn is the hard way

yeah...

Chooser

They say beggars can't be choosers,
but I'm only begging for what I want.

*Thoughts on truth and being true to oneself*

"...be true to yourself. Though the path may be painful and sometimes lonely, in the end, when it truly matters, only you can be held accountable for your life."

"The truth is not as pretty as the world would have you believe."

-BRM

Mr. Business Man

Dear sir across from me in Panera
you look very stressed
in your suit and tie
staring at your laptop
with that saddened face.

I see you wear a wedding ring
perhaps, you should spend more time
     with her.

Have you ever considered,
a new job?
gotta play to win?
do you ever play, just
     to play?

Not on Your Level

I am not on your level.
I will not allow you
to drag me
down
to your level.

This is not your game.
This is not
a game.
This is my life.
I make the decisions.

I will not stoop
to you
to your level
to your pettiness.
Grow up.

Ryan Joseph

"I'm a father..."
Words I wasn't prepared to hear.
Words I wasn't prepared
to respond to.

I usually associate thoughts of you
with 3 Doors Down,
but I need Limp Bizkit, instead.
It really is significant.

Still not sure what to say.
Congrats? Best of luck?
Thanks for thinking of me?
...After all this time.


(I always have thought that you'd be a good dad. Do this and do it well.)

Fools

Normal is the majority
And I find, in my experience,
that the majority is usually
wrong.
If I want to be right,
I've got to take my own,
Hold my own,
Be my own
Person.
Not one of those imitating, hating,
Fools.

Do Too Much

I try to do too much.
I get so stressed out.
It's not a matter of not saying no.
It's that I keep asking for more.

So many things that I want to do.
Just not enough time to plan them all.
Not enough tome to sleep.
Not enough time in one week.



Sleep.

Alanis Morissette

alanis morissette makes me feel better about life
gives me hope that comes and goes
i see we've all made the same mistakes
looked in the wrong places for the right things
lost people who were suppose to care

Learn?

I want to learn
I crave it
but I don't carve out
the necessary time

Together

I like you quite a lot
And I love you
However, I believe
I am falling in love with you
much more than ever before

It really is somewhat
disgusting to my brain
You make me happy always, anyway
just to be around you,
in your presence

I'm enamored,
absorbed,
addicted
to who you are.

Occasionally it brings thoughts of
marriage, houses, money,
our lives as one
and perhaps producing more.

And I stop.
PAUSE.
We're so young. So much life left.
Neither of us are prepared for anything more.

But I still like to fantasize
that we'll be together from here and beyond.

Grr

Hatred.
Stupid.
Angry.

Life doesn't have to be like this.
...Right?

God(s) help me.