Used to Know

Ouch.
Thanks for the consideration.

I'll just pretend like you can't hurt me.
That's how I made it this far.

How many years has it been since we spoke?
Just because I move on
and you messed up your life
Doesn't mean I don't want to be part of it.

Thanks for the notification.
Thanks for the invite.
Thanks for the unfriending.
No thanks for the lack of information.

You always said you'd be around
You always said you'd always be there
Now you're no where to be found.
Now you're not even interested anymore.

Now you're just someone that I used to know.

Fourteen Days

Fourteen Days
this time in
fourteen days

I'll be married.

What the hell.
I'm so young.
I have so far to grow.

Progress in Time

Life is a finite thing
Yet the rise of one age
Does not give close to another
Life is a stacking, growing, creeping
Monster
Time progresses

Just as one decade
Lapses into something new
Yet does not draw close
to what came before
So it is
with phases of our own lives

I choose to move toward change
Yet I am not able to eradicate my past
I must keep it
as a sign of where I've been,
what I've seen
the things which I've done

Grow Up

I don't want to stay immature,
but I never wanna grow up.

***

...soon...

Reality

I'm not even sure,
I recognize reality
anymore

Reality. What is it?

The present situation,
occurring physically,
in real time?

Does it also include thoughts?
...relating to past, future
Does it also include dreams?
...daydreams or nights recently had

It is not reality,
nothing happened.
Unless reality can include
such intangible concepts.

But what is reality?
Can you really recognize?
Reality?

August

Sometime in August
I decided I loved you
I haven't spoken it
It is my guarded secret
This is its first escape
From the confines within

Goodbye for Now

I've never really had to say goodbye to someone before
It hurts more than I had anticipated
Forgive me for my sentimentality and emotion
There have been farewells, but always voluntary

Please, no regrets for anything that didn't happen
For I know neither of us regret anything that did
Only good memories from here on
Remember our late nights and drunken conversations

Ten years isn't really that long in the span of a life
Be careful
I'll try to keep in touch
Call me when you're home

Tuesday

Reminding myself that this is a Tuesday night
I still have to get up in the morning
as usual.
Just because it's been a tough day
and I need a rough night
It's still a Tuesday.
I still have to get up in the AM.

Ten Years

I just spent an hour.5
reading all my posted poems
February 2010 back to
January 2000.
Ten years and counting.

1000 Years

We've been here for 1000 years
And you still haven't learned
I'm not like you
This will never work

Why are we so repetitive?
The first four times ended
...in utter disaster
This shall be no different.

You always try
I always fall.
Over and over,
Again and again.

Will we ever learn?
We've been here 1000 years
And can only continue
Repeating our endings.

Me - End of a Decade

I'm unlike any other and original just like the rest. I fill my time with IT work, online classes, and SGA IT stuff. I love music, computers, and words. Hobbies include: riding my bike, mixing drinks, loving on my cat, various sorts of artsy things, fixing, and organizing stuff. I wish I had more time to read, but I always find time for xkcd. I like digging junk out of dumpsters and giving mine away (on freecycle). I cut my own hair. I like mushroom hats, classy people, and dry humor. Most of my clothing is dark, "earthy" colors, beyond that, I believe any day is a good day to wear black.

Do Too Much

I try to do too much.
I get so stressed out.
It's not a matter of not saying no.
It's that I keep asking for more.

So many things that I want to do.
Just not enough time to plan them all.
Not enough tome to sleep.
Not enough time in one week.



Sleep.

Learn?

I want to learn
I crave it
but I don't carve out
the necessary time

Together

I like you quite a lot
And I love you
However, I believe
I am falling in love with you
much more than ever before

It really is somewhat
disgusting to my brain
You make me happy always, anyway
just to be around you,
in your presence

I'm enamored,
absorbed,
addicted
to who you are.

Occasionally it brings thoughts of
marriage, houses, money,
our lives as one
and perhaps producing more.

And I stop.
PAUSE.
We're so young. So much life left.
Neither of us are prepared for anything more.

But I still like to fantasize
that we'll be together from here and beyond.

Bygone Times

Old wooden barns with nailed together tin roofs
Falling apart trailers perched on hill sides
Buttercups, Dirt roads, Leaning tombstones
Testaments to a different lifestyle
Bygone times and family lines still around

Waiting...

I don't know how to do this part.
I love him.
We are together.
We are apart.
There is so long to wait.
What do we do now?
We see each other.
We love each other.
We don't play house.
We don't have sex.
We wait.
There is so long.
One year turns into three.
Three into four.
Then, perhaps, we wait no more.

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago
you were two years younger than me.

Today I am here
wondering how this could be.

When I was ten
you were writing me.

Now I am reading you
and learning for me.

Older

Someday I will be old.
I will have wrinkles
and gray hair.
My body will start to fail,
my parts won't function correctly.

But it will be alright.

I am content to know
my wrinkles will be from
smile lines, not UV rays,
my gray hair will be
au natural, and not dyed,
my body may be sore, but
is going through something normal,
something that has been part of every
woman's life.

Our Time

The future is so far away.
The future is now.
The future is happening.
The future is lasting.

The future is our time span.
We have each other on this side
We have time;
Let's take it.