Different Lifestyles

I want to be more like you,
but I know you're bad for me
and where I aim to go.

I always looked up to you.
Found you to be something wonderful.

Then I grew up.

I still want to be like you.
You're life is so glamorous,
So full of adventure

And trials, I'm sure.

With the things you do,
I'm sure there's no shortage.

The things you do,
The things you feel free to do,
The way you freely give yourself,

It must be painful.
For you mentally;
and for your family to witness.

But perhaps it's that you don't feel,
anymore,
the pain, or much of anything.

You're so beautiful;
Even chocked full of drugs.
I don't look up to you any more.

But I still wish my life
were a little more
like yours.

*From reddit: ...attractive when a girl has a good vocabulary*

*BillTheBastard comments on DAE find it instantly attractive when a girl has a good vocabulary*

"I like big words, and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
When a girl pipes up with an itty-bitty phrase
With a long noun as the case
You get sprung
Wanna say "good show"
'Cause you're mesmerized by words she knows
She's like a dictionary
So loquacious, man, it's scary
Oh, baby I wanna hear your prose
You're so verbose
My homeboys tried to warn me
But the way you speak
Make my knees so weak
Ooh, adjectives and clauses You say you know what a "promenade" is
Well tell me, tell me 'cause you ain't that average girly

I've heard them talkin' Just senseless squawkin' But she articulates, expatiates; that girl knows how to communicate
I'm tired of magazines Written by chimpanzees Take the average smart man and ask him that She must be eloquent
So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah) Can your girlfriend talk like that? (hell yeah) Well say it, say it, say it, say it, say those lengthy words Baby: she knows"

Hurting Everyone

how ya been

stressed.

why so

i think this bout is due to boys.

uh oh who has hurt your heart

just me.

i refuse to give it to little boys to break.

so i break theirs.

...and my own.

well you shouldn’t give it to little boys only men who will cherish it and nurture it

i have/had one of those.

but i decided that i might rather play with the little boys for a while.

so i'm just hurting everyone.....

Consent

Do you intend to make me feel this way?
Do you know; as you know everything else?
Is this a game? For the both of us?

How did this start?
Why are we here?
Did you consent to me?
Or did I consent to you?

Obsession

Boy, you're on my brain.
You're in my head.
That's not a good place to be.
It's dangerous in there.

Consider this your warning.
I will not mention it again.
If you fall in, don't tell me
that I didn't tell you.

You amuse me; bemuse me;
Cryptically abuse me.
I like it, I cannot
like you.

Consider yourself an obsession.
Harmless? Probably.
Intriguing? Definitely.
Time consuming? We'll see.

Interesting Individual

My head is going crazy with thoughts about you
I hope you're not picking up on my mixed signals
Yours are clear enough - or so I think

I must be careful, can't let you become another one,
Another causality of my independence
You intrigue me, though, and pique my mind.

You fascinate me thoroughly and make me wonder...
I would like to sit and talk with you,
Some evening, perhaps all night

This must stay simple and innocent
The chatting, the charm (of newness)
Perhaps we should have a drink some time


...Should I mention?
You appeared in my dream last night.
I don't remember most of it, but
You did have a full back tattoo.

so dangerous, so lovely

so dangerous
so lovely
i want to touch you, hold you.
so dangerous
so lovely
i want to be the one next to you
i want to take your hand and know it'll be okay
so dangerous
so lovely
the things that are not allowed
should not be alone
you're so dangerous
because we're so lovely

Taken

I need to leave you alone
I cannot have you
because I, myself, have been had
It doesn't stop the feelings I have
Doesn't stop the complication
...I mean interestingness.
I have already sloshed your life around
enough as it is.
Me, a taken girl, should be sure
to not lead you on
(however much I'd like to).
I would hate to be the one
to make you miss another opportunity.

Enjoy the Silence

Adorable and fascinating.
Now you know.
Knowledge can be dangerous.
We must be cautious.
Are you reading this?
I know now.
And we know what knowledge can be.
Knowledge revealed in the silence
(with no violence) via chat.

Waltz of the Mind

dance with me
from across the room
our eyes meet
our thoughts intertwine
and twirl through the air

my eyes search you over
testing potential danceability
your eyes meet mine and
take my mind gently by the hand

Not For Keeps

"Leggsy", "sexxy", turned on.
Back off.
I'm quite reserved.

Thanks for the ego boost
but I'm not yours
don't think I'm playing for keeps
even if I am playing games

Infatuation

I fall
into infatuation
but that is all

my love
is not
so easily won

twice. and maybe,
a half
of three others

You're So Cool

Mr. Badass in his broken-down black truck
hollers at me as he hauls on by.

I give him a glance to see if he is worth a look.
Respond to his wink with a crooked smile.

Distorts his face in concentration,
His eyes covering all my curves...

I laugh to myself as I turn away
and sway my hips just a little more.

Dark Star

I cared for you so much
sometimes still (more than I should)
I search for reasons why
and what captivated me so strongly

We were so different
so much the same
We didn't want the same things,
but we were in the same place

You are one of few
who I liked first
You caught me
and I let you into my mind

You didn't try to seduce me
it was all on my own
You didn't prod me along
it was only what I wanted

It was all so wrong
so beautifully right
It wouldn't last
thank you for not telling me

Such a short amount of time
so much time between us
Such an innocent passion
you allowed me cradle

I still don't know
how it all fell together
I am still glad
that it actually did

Recovery Phase

I need to keep check on my feelings
Find out what's going on
Why I'm feeling this way

I think I am falling hard and fast

Thank you for being stronger than me
While I discover who I am and
Recover from who I used to be

I am Falling

What is it you do to me?
I am not like this.
I don't fall so quickly
especially upon new acquaintances
...

These Things

Things are so much more complicated than I let on
yet things are quite a bit less so than I make myself believe

These things I feel,
I don't know from wince they come.

I don't know on what basis
I can claim them.

I really don't know you
but there is so much between us.

You are in my head
and I in yours.

Both in thoughts, dreams,
and like mindedness.

You are a curiosity to me
and quite curious yourself.

...
You come sit beside me, I'm okay with that,
but now I am distracted...

Can I Keep You

you ask if you can keep me.
i tell you i have to go home later.
you know i know
that's not what you mean.

you ask if you can keep me.
i tell you
that is my favorite line in Casper.
you are not amused.

you ask if you can keep me.
what will i say this time?
i should like to say yes,
for as long as you can.

"Can I keep you?" you ask,
not tonight, my dear,
you cannot keep me just yet,
but you may detain me whenever you like.

The Greener Side

I know better than
to give up what I have
for something that might be

I don't know
how long I can convince myself
this is true

I don't know if what I have
is really better
than what could be

Is the grass really
the same color
on the other side?

Only there is no grass
But only people
involved in this fence.

None the less, I sit
squarely
in the middle

Some things change
...honey...
But some things never do.

Extacy

You say estrogen is heroin.
I don't know about that,
but you're extacy to me.