Double Standard of Thought

I'd tell you what I think
but you'd tell me I shouldn't think that way
and if I called you out on it,
you'd tell me I shouldn't care what you think.

Louder, Louder...

Maybe if I turn the music
up loud enough I won't
be able
to hear my own thoughts
blaring, racing
through my head

:)

A little bit of alcohol
Some good electronic music
Prompts a headful of thoughts
I can entertain myself for hours

posted from Bloggeroid

Living Memories

I relive memories as though they are something other than what they are.
As if they could touch and move and become a life all their own.

Growing from a point of what was at one pinprick in time
To what? To nothing? Not what could be, but still only what was

But it was! And it was alive! Breathing, moving. Growing at that time.
Until the moment that the real life movement ends. The living dream.

It was, really quite a dream, a moment like that, now stuck.
Perpetually in replay. Encapsulated, not living, in my living brain.

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

I don't know what your defining as "okay"
I don't know what your defining as "the end"
But you have a good chance of being okay
Before and at times other than
the end
And you have a good chance of reaching
the end
At a time that is not okay


It's not that I'm overly pessimistic, I'm just overly realistic.

posted from Bloggeroid

Paranoia

Paranoia is not a relenting disease.
Luckily for you, it's not contagious,
From me stalking you.

The things you do,
In my nighttime dreams,
Keeps me on my toes,
In my daytime routines.

posted from Bloggeroid

Confession of Inadequacy

I need you. Why are you so good to me?
I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night.
I have so many thoughts that I long to share with you
I don't even know where to begin.
Do I start at what you want to hear and
End with what you need to know?
Should I subject you to my every struggle?
I love you so much. It makes me cry.
You're so good to me and for me.
Sometimes I almost feel like you're too good for me
Not that I'd use that as a reason to leave
Or to do wrong
But if anything, something to strive toward.

Twitter Musings

Twitter, why do I consider,
feeding you thoughts that should never leave my pen,
thoughts that should never be there to begin?


perhaps to be continued...

Thought

Once upon a time
A little girl had a thought that she thought would put her to sleep.
Well,
She thought wrong.

posted from Bloggeroid

I love you. I hate you.

I love you. I hate you.
I don't like dragging you in circles.
I want to hold onto you and push you away.
I want to rip you from my life and talk to you at every second.
No, I don't have a plan.
No, I don't know what to do or what i am going to do.

Indecisive & Fickle

Not only am I indecisive
I'm also fickle
Once I make up my mind
I change it.

Reality

I'm not even sure,
I recognize reality
anymore

Reality. What is it?

The present situation,
occurring physically,
in real time?

Does it also include thoughts?
...relating to past, future
Does it also include dreams?
...daydreams or nights recently had

It is not reality,
nothing happened.
Unless reality can include
such intangible concepts.

But what is reality?
Can you really recognize?
Reality?

Me - End of a Decade

I'm unlike any other and original just like the rest. I fill my time with IT work, online classes, and SGA IT stuff. I love music, computers, and words. Hobbies include: riding my bike, mixing drinks, loving on my cat, various sorts of artsy things, fixing, and organizing stuff. I wish I had more time to read, but I always find time for xkcd. I like digging junk out of dumpsters and giving mine away (on freecycle). I cut my own hair. I like mushroom hats, classy people, and dry humor. Most of my clothing is dark, "earthy" colors, beyond that, I believe any day is a good day to wear black.

Interesting Individual

My head is going crazy with thoughts about you
I hope you're not picking up on my mixed signals
Yours are clear enough - or so I think

I must be careful, can't let you become another one,
Another causality of my independence
You intrigue me, though, and pique my mind.

You fascinate me thoroughly and make me wonder...
I would like to sit and talk with you,
Some evening, perhaps all night

This must stay simple and innocent
The chatting, the charm (of newness)
Perhaps we should have a drink some time


...Should I mention?
You appeared in my dream last night.
I don't remember most of it, but
You did have a full back tattoo.

Right. So...

Maybe I shouldn't tell you,
let you find if you wish.
Humor me though,
because I want you to know.

No Private Thoughts

Not private thoughts. No.
That is not allowed.
Tell the world,
broadcast your every pondering
Post it as a status
Post it in under 140
Post it to a blog
Encouragement to no longer have private lives
Everything you do is everyone else's business

Stay out of my life.

Waltz of the Mind

dance with me
from across the room
our eyes meet
our thoughts intertwine
and twirl through the air

my eyes search you over
testing potential danceability
your eyes meet mine and
take my mind gently by the hand

Apartment

Daydreaming about living somewhere with sunlight and windows that open
A place where I don't have to use my stove top as a counter top
Somewhere to breathe, somewhere with room to grow

Daydreaming about living somewhere with room for my cat(s)
Somewhere to go out and run without traffic to worry
Looking for a place with room to stretch

Daydreaming about wood floors, high ceilings, windows with a breeze
Someplace with storage room and a closet or two
Somewhere with a ceiling more than six feet tall

Looking for a safe place to settle myself down
Somewhere without metal lattice on the windows
A place that doesn't smell like wet dog carpet

I like my cave, but some days it can be overwhelming
It's close to campus, It's affordable, It's bearable
But some days it's barely livable

This is Madness

What do you want from me??
Stop this - it's madness!
Get out of my head,
I won't live in your world.

You think you see so clearly.
So what if you do?
I won't be the one to tell you.
This is madness I tell you.

Clamoring for Sleep

there are not enough hours in the day
for everything that needs to happen.
often, personal thought is what suffers,
this saddens me.