Look at Me

Look at me.
People look at me
and see
"who I am"
a good girl
an innocent girl
perfect
beautiful
got it all going for her

"She" is such a hypocrite
that couldn't be farther from the truth.
I hate me
I hate what I've become
I hate you
I hate this world
I am so full of a stinking hate
I always have been.
I've hidden it so well,
for so many years.

No one knows
Not even me
I don't allow it
I struggle with myself
because I hide myself from myself
I am afraid of what I'll find
I know what I would find
So I block it all away
from myself

I do bad things
I am a bad person
I wish bad things
I see/hear/taste bad things
I want bad people
I am bad

I am a sinner
I am human
I am an egotist

I love me
I love you
I love him

I hate this world.