Change of Course

Now I must find my way
Define a new course in my life
Decide where to go from here

I trust no one to the fullest extent
Am old enough not to have decisions made for me
Yet, not old enough to be given full responsibility

I won't know what to do when I get there
It'll be wonderful to have full charge
Of this thing so loosely called life

Stand

I must stand against every thing
Or I’ll fall and die
Under the trample of friends.

We must not break
If we bend,
We’ll go in half.

They can’t come near
They won’t get close
I won’t stand for it.

So I’ll fall
Fall and die
Under those who were my friends.

Dreaming

I musn't daydream.
I can't let go of myself.
Once I'm gone, I have no control.

I think too much,
Search for answers,
When I can't find them.
I dream them and
Change my life.

It doesn't work.
I only slip farther;
Farther and farther in.

One day I won't come back.
What then?
They'll have to just let me be.
Let me go.
But they won't, they'll at least try.

They'll try to pull me back.
Bring me to consciousness.
Maybe I just won't ever come to.

What of everyone then?
Some will genuinely miss me,
Some will have known,
There will be those too,
Who won't even notice.

Not that that's necessarily bad.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion,
Of me and my ways.

They will think how I was,
Remember when I changed.
Some will have known I needed help,
Some would never have guessed.
And I would confirm some theories.

But what of me?
That's of them,
How will I be?

Gone.
Gone of this world.
Mentally in the next,
Physically here
Though not responding.

Maybe someday I'll come to,
Find myself a grown adult,
And not sure where to go.

My life, wasted away,
Out of my control,
And also that of others.
Where will I go then?
All because I was dreaming...

His Purpose

Indifference is not an option,
Go with the Godly choice.
If you’re not sure, give it to
God with prayer.
He has a path set out for us.
Ask for guidance and direction.
He will lead you in his way,
If you will only let go and turn it over.
Give it to him and leave it.
He will take it, take it all,
Mend and fix it to his purpose.

Wicked

Something wicked,
this way comes.
I can feel it,
feel it well.
It’s coming, coming,
Can’t you tell?
Inside us all,
it’s there, deep inside,
corrupting each and all.

We can’t escape it.
We can’t hide it.
It’s there for always,
Turning us against each other.

Sometimes we must stop,
stop to pick the gravel out,
out of our eyes.
Thus allowing us to see,
see clearly, what it is we do
to others, thinking only of ourselves.

Afraid

I'm afraid...
I'm afraid of him,
I'm afraid of myself,
I'm afraid of what I used to be,
I'm afraid of what's happening,
And where I might go.

Perception

tickle me blue
w/ the knife of your blade

look at me straight
and tell me what you see

is it an odd little girl
or a strange little woman?

am I even who I think I am
who I perceive myself to be?

I'm struggling to discover
who it is I've become

does anyone even notice
all the odd little things

...

do my words make sense
or are they in backward order?

You Are To Me

Someone I can talk to and trust,
I cherish all our conversations,
Everything we’ve discussed.

A diamond in the rough,
In a “world so cold,”
Having you is fair enough.

Someone with whom to identify,
Someone to tell everything,
Even if we don’t always see eye to eye.

A best friend, who’s always there,
To listen and talk,
Someone like this is, oh, so rare.

I always enjoy being with you.
Someone with whom to have fun,
And also, gain a new point of view.

My senses you mystify,
With all you do,
My hear you “stupefy.”

I can share with you,
My thoughts, my fears,
My whole life too.

Me feelings for you,
Sometimes hidden and confused,
Are all still true.

Ode to the Flaming Toaster

Once upon a time…
My pop tart exploded.
I didn’t mean for the toaster to be loaded.
Cherry chunks stuck everywhere,
It became as a nightmare.
Was on the phone with Zach,
He had a laughing attack.
There were now flames shooting out,
As I was dashing about.
I shook it in the sink,
As the burnt began to stink.
At this point the toaster was still in flame.
I turned it over, but my attempt was lame.
All at once, I hung up the phone
And got to work, now that I was alone.
While the toaster set in the sink,
I turned on the water to give it a drink.
The flames went out with the water,
And the toaster ceased to get hotter,
Although, the pieces were still stuck,
And with the watter, began to turn to muck.
I began to scrape it out with a knife,
As if to save my life.
When most of it was gone,
I let out a large yawn,
And put the toaster back,
…Until its next attack.

love

love,
i think it is.
some time or another,
it comes after us all.
you never know who or when,
why or how,
it just happens.
everyone finds their own way
to express it.
some through affection,
some through poetry, music, song, dance
some through death or other ways.
when love picks you,
you can run, can hide, but
you can't get away.
once you know it, you can't deny it.
it is horribly lovely and
sweetly painful.