Illiana

Camp is a swirl of tie-dyed colors
Walk in and see all the people
Chattering fills my ears
Feel the warm embrace of old friends
The smell of waiting pizza fills my nose
We file towards our mouth watering dinner

People Watcher

I hear a large crowd of people,
In the midst of them I cower.
Staring up at the masses
as they pass me by.
They don't even notice;
I am just another random person,
scurrying on my way.
This is how they see me.
Little do they know,
Who I am, What I do, What I'm about.

I am a people watcher.
I sit and observe,
I watch, I learn, I imitate.
You disregard me; I digest you.
I watch your every move
I weigh it in my mind
against myself and others
I want to improve me and learn
Learn about people, and human ways.

I am a people watcher,
I watch you.

Tears

Tears are black against my pale face
They show my secrets
As I sit smelling the sweet incense
The slow sobbing reveals my pain
And the saltiness stings my lips
As they gently roll down my cheek

Emotion

Emotion is blue.
It tastes like tears,
salty, running down your cheek.
It sounds like joy,
shouting with happiness.
It smells like fresh baked cookies,
warm out of the oven.
It looks like a vast emptiness,
going on forever.

Death

Death is a dingy gray.
It smells like a rotting mushroom
on a musty dirt floor,
It taste like sand
gritty in your mouth,
It looks like a graveyard
one hundred years old,
It sounds like silence
so deafeningly loud.

Memories Never Die

(the death of a friend)

Looking around as I'm trying to cope,
Coming back to this strange truth, I now know,
For myself, a new future I must scope.
Here without you, my emotions I show.
My agony is allowed some relief
As I see you laying there peacefully
And then my body is flooded with grief,
As I understand what's happened fully,
Look at me, see what a state I'm in.
But it's not your fault, this pain I endure.
You can't help the struggles I have within.
Today is the last time I see you here,
I see you lying there, eyes shut and dry.
Don't worry, memories will never die.

Youthful Dating

All relationships have an end.
You break-up, you die, you marry,
One of the three,
There is no inbetween.
It all ends in death,
but in the meantime, we must love...

To love and have that love
come to an end
Is an unbelievable pain.
To love is to marry and
To be unable to marry so young
leaves us at an uncertain stalemate.

Where is the point in youthful dating
Is it all a game?
Could it ever last?

It gives us someone to love,
Someone to hold,
Someone to break our, oh so delicate, heart.

Is it really worth
All that is endured?

So Close, Yet So Far

What, when you make something of yourself
Will you remember me then
Remember the times I saved your life
The times you saved mine
Without even knowing it
You’ve done so much for me
What can I do for you?
Sure, I’ve helped you when I could
But that’s what friends are for
How can I ever repay you
I want to give you what I can
But not all of me
You ruined that long ago
You really shouldn’t startle people
I love you with all I am
But not to the fullest
Your one of the best friends to me
Yet, I can’t let you get close
Must keep you at a distance
Maybe someday it could be possible
Not today though, I’m hurt and don’t trust
Someday you’ll be gone
It will be okay, I’ll free you
I will miss you greatly
I understand all I can.

Times

Everything is so different
I couldn't see anything changing
But pretty soon nothing was the same

Isn't that how things always go
Nothing can ever stay the same for long
The only thing that doesn't change is the fact things do

What's to be done
When everything is different
And you don't recognize any surroundings

It's not right to bury yourself away from society
Though so many do, only to discover
It doesn't really help

Often things get worse when secluded
Eventually we all must come out
Come out and face the world

Times come and times go, and
I'm not sure if this one is
Coming or going

Change of Course

Now I must find my way
Define a new course in my life
Decide where to go from here

I trust no one to the fullest extent
Am old enough not to have decisions made for me
Yet, not old enough to be given full responsibility

I won't know what to do when I get there
It'll be wonderful to have full charge
Of this thing so loosely called life