The Fine Art of Hiding my Feelings

I smile when I'm near you
I laugh when I'm with you
I think about you when we're apart

I want your undivided attention
I've fallen in love
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen

Your the sweetest I've had
but I didn't see it in time
I didn't mean
to play with you
when I had you
I didn't realize
I was playing with my own heart

I didn't tell you my feelings
When I had the chance
Now, I'm the not so proud
owner of a Broken Heart.

You can't see how it is I feel
I've mastered (to well)
the fine art of
hiding my feelings.
I'm proficient, but to much so.

So here, on this paper,
I lay out my feelings
for you
...to never see.

The Color Black

Black is the color of night
the color of darkness
the color of death and evil
But
Black in itself
is not night, darkness, death, or evil
Black is not evil

Try To Live It

I go to church
I bow
my head

I mean it
I try to live it

I feel like such a hypocrite
So many times

I weigh what I do
or don't
do

But do I do
what
I say?

I go to church
I bow
to God

I mean it
I try to live it

Not My Lips

He always kisses my neck.
I suppose,
That is because I won't lend him my lips,
Even for a season
Or a one night stand.

How I feel

I'm so confused
and it's not by anything
It's just my own thoughts
the denial
and
reality of them.
I know how I feel.
I don't know
what to do with
how I feel?

I like him
I don't l**e him!
...do I?
How
...could I?

I know how I feel
but what to do
with how I feel?
Do I keep it to myself
or
share?

I'm just afraid.
I may wreck my feelings
by giving into them
or
my heart
for not.

Days To Come

succeed with life
inspired to write
think of being different
gotta model the best way

sometimes you won't change
I caught myself

distorted future
clouded dreams
sober visions

its using friends to learn
smoking is bad
college is abusing
and life's not through
till you've lived it all

To Cry

to cry,
drop a tear,
gently,
splashing,
a small dot on the paper,
drys up,
is gone,
never there,
no one knows.

One-Sided Conversation

Hello there.
Yes,
Yes, I'm talking to you.
Oh...well, I didn't want much.
No, I just wanted to see how you were doing.
You know...since we haven't talked in so long.
Good, I'm glad you're well.
Me? Well, I've been kind of lonely lately.
Oh, of course.
Yes, I understand.
Take care of yourself.
GOOD SEEING YO...

Ah, people these days, so busy...

Dear God

What is it you want from me?
Why is it you have placed me here?
Why is it that I ask so many questions?

Trust is Complicated

Those who trust
and those who don't
just don't get along.
Those who trust
think everyone should trust.
Those who don't
...well...they don't.
So one doesn't trust the other
- because they don't trust back.
And the other...
...the other just doesn't trust.
So the trusting don't trust
because the non trusting doesn't trust
and before long, we all become a
non trusting nation full of
non trusting people,
because those who trust
think that those who don't
should.
And trusters don't trust
each other because...you never know.
Yet, the non trusters do trust
because they know they can't
Trust each other.

So in the end, I don't trust you
unless you don't trust me
then, and only then,
I just might trust you.