Spiderwebs

Spiderwebs are clouding my mind.
Clinging to my concentration,
Stretching it all out of sorts.
Spiderwebs building thick,
taking over, holding back, my vocabulary.

Once I was sharp, quick to respond.
Loved to read and knew the words.
Now, I am reduced to sluggishness.
Lethargic in my motivation.
Incompetent in my readings,
Lacking any concentration.

Spiders have moved into my head;
Eaten away at my knowledge;
Built their webs in every corner.

Remedy for Ugly

She doesn't think she is pretty [enough]?
Oh yes, make sure she doesn't stop.
Cutting is one of the best remedies for ugly.

Come on now, we're adults.
Look life in the face
and stop staring in the mirror.

Love Him

I love him.
I had the urge to call and tell him.
He knows.
That's all I had to say.
I refrained.
I drank some more wine.
Thought some more.
Changed my mind.
Called him, told him, that was all.
He was happy.
I cried.

Want to Let Go

If I hit rock bottom and let go of it all
Will that make life simpler?
Will I disappoint you all on my way down?
Surely you can rise up without me.

Plan B

The fact that I don't have a plan B,
And plan A is so costly...
The consequences of a failed A
are not something to contemplate.
It must not happen.
It is not an option.
There is no room for a plan B.

One at a Time

Don't tell me it'll be alright
That's not the case
And you know that for yourself
It's one day at a time
Sometimes a step backward
When the world is demanding
Two steps today

Not as Strong as I Pretend to be

Sometimes I get scared
I'm not as strong as I pretend to be

It hurts so much just to admit that to you
I suppose you already know
But to admit that I have to keep relearning
I'm not as strong as I pretend to be

Pretend

I know I can talk to you
Just sometimes I forget that

Afraid of what you'll say
Afraid of what you'll think

I really am not as strong
as I pretend to be

I am afraid of you
I am afraid of me

What if I give you
too much of myself?

What Then

And sometimes I get scared,
of how little I really know you
of how little you really know [about] me

What if we don't last forever
(Not that I am planning for us to)
(But I'm not planning otherwise)

Sometimes I get scared
I really don't have it [all] under control
I am terrified of life

What if I give you too much
What happens if it doesn't work
How would I go on without you

I do get so scared
(Afraid of the world
Afraid of life)

Take a Breath

Angry!
[Shoddy] shirt
[Witchy] sales people
Language, Sarah!

Broken computer.
Failing cellular.
Behind in classes.
Lists at work.

Patience.

Computer being fixed for free.
Waiting on a new phone.
Writing a paper.
Raise in my pay.