Faux Security

But...I am never lonely...
I am self-sufficient.
I am independent.
I don't need you.

I hide behind my faux security.
But what it is I hide,
I know not.

I hide all I am
From all you are
and all it is that we could be.

I am scared.
I am insecure.
What if I am wrong?

Fate

It had to end
There was no way
You just didn't complete me
Nor I you
We were matched together so well
But our stars just didn't align
Fate had other plans for us
It just had to end
To save us all

In some other Dream

I would liked to have kept you around
But not this time around.
Maybe in some other time
In some other dream
When we meet again
With that familiar look in our eyes
That flash of recognition
that says we've met somewhere before
in some other time
in some other dream

Who Am I Not

Who am I not,
I am not a slut
I am not a whore
I am not a heroin addict
I am not pregnant
-nor have I ever been
I do not take hits of acid
-on a regular basis or not
I am not in a cult
I do not worship the devil
I do hate you
I am not easy
I am not a sadist
I am not a lesbian
I am not any number of things which You have pegged me
I am, however, myself
And I will continue to be who I am and not who you have made me out to be

Rusty

It's a dark and cold world out there
Seems there's no one to trust
And what little I have left
Has begun to rust
in these blood covered hands
Where I ripped out my heart
After falling for You.

One Word Was All

Be careful what you say to someone.
You never know what one word
What one statement
They will remember for the rest of their life.

some simple comment
one simple compliment
that degrading remark

You never know how much
it could possibly affect
the paths they choose to take.

the end

Why do I feel this way
...still?
I just sit here and cry
(but I'd never admit that to you)
I didn't love him
We both knew that
But I don't know why I'm
still sitting here looking through
tear blurred eyes.

All I can do is write...
How I wish I could call
How I wish I could stop by
(and let you wrap me in your arms)
Neither of us do the 2nd time around thing
...And that's not what I want.
I just want you.

Why?

I Like Books That Make Me Cry

I like books that make me cry,
They evoke sufficient emotion.

Maybe I'm a little too much like Emma Bovary.

I'd never kill myself, though.
but, someone else...sure.
If I can gut a deer, I
can also skin you, too.
My heart is deep.

Deep and black

I don't show it to most
Only those few who need to fear me.

You're My Friend?

I feel so detached
From everything
I have to stop and chat
with everyone
This way I have friends
visually, at least
It fills my small space
set aside
for daily social abilities

Norah Jones

Laying in my room
not really trying to sleep
knowing I need it.

Norah Jones on repeat.
Five; Six times, now,
and my mind wanders...