Another One Gone

So many questions
So little understanding
I care for you
but I must be rid of you
This seems my life story
So much drama
So many guys
I can't seem to find one to care about

Double Exposed

Double exposed photos
Double exposed mind
thoughts, dreams, hallucinations
(Is it real, is it not?)
(I'm in my bed, You're in my room?)
I'm in two places at once,
One physical,
One merely lapsed over.
Which layer am I on?
Underneath it all?
Lying on top?
So many questions,
So little understanding,
What is it my mind does?

Imagination

I can use my imagination for a story,
I can use my imagine for emotion -in a story,
but I don't want a story,
I want a poem,
a poem -with emotion.

A story is overtly logical.
A poem -it is not.
It is only a sequence of thought.

depressed?

"Try Sarah. Just try to be happy."

It's like trying to have red hair.
No matter how long I stare in the mirror
and try to make it red
it's still not.

They are Angry

I know how it feels now
So utterly alone
(With) No one to call
I Understand

I don't trust them
They don't need to hear
They won't listen
They are angry with me
Who does this leave me to talk to


I need to take a shower & calm down.

How Can I Not

I have nothing to write
I'm confused
but I know how I feel
"Drifting between How can I
and how can I not?"

New Shopping Philosophy

I will no longer shun mainstream fashion solely on the basis of it being such.
If I do not like the item, I (obviously) will not buy it.
However, if I do like it, I will buy it, and will proceed to laugh at all the other self-declared "non-conformists" as they gawk at me in my newly purchased gauchos.

~seh

Tension

I have such a strong sexual tension in my body
I'm not horny
I don't want sex
I want to be touched & held by one I love
by Him.
I yearn for him.
I have not seen him
       touched him
       kissed him in one week
My body wants him
I can't think straight
I can't focus
My body is rigid and tense
One touch.
One touch is all I need and I would melt in his hands.
I would surrender myself to him
              and his advances
until I regained my right mind
Then I would stop him
       push away
              and
       turn over
Just to lay with him
     next to him
Be with him.

I Think Too Fast

I may have slipped
I may have fallen
Maybe I shouldn't have said
But (I think) I love you.

8 months and 30 miles

I am angry.
I don't want to pen down what happened
but would rather display out what I
am feeling.

Pen & ink on paper
like feathers of a peacock.
Spread out in a fury of color
and emotion.

I am angry.
Imagine myself as a lit fire cracker,
can only hope it'll be a dud.

*** could help
I don't want to tell him.
I don't want to tell anyone.
I don't want to use that word.

I need sleep.
I am in bed.
I don't want to go to bed Angry
as the wise Solomon suggested.

How can the best thing I had
turn into something which could abuse me
and make me feel used
8 months later and
30 miles away