my favorite way to learn is the hard way

yeah...

Indecisive & Fickle

Not only am I indecisive
I'm also fickle
Once I make up my mind
I change it.

Chooser

They say beggars can't be choosers,
but I'm only begging for what I want.

*Thoughts on truth and being true to oneself*

"...be true to yourself. Though the path may be painful and sometimes lonely, in the end, when it truly matters, only you can be held accountable for your life."

"The truth is not as pretty as the world would have you believe."

-BRM

PROBLEM?

WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?
Why do I repeat the same things over
and over and over?

You Do Realize...?

You do realize...?
Not with him
does not equate
with you.

You introduced
the F-word.
Forever.
Something so strong.

I appriciate
your honesty.
I do like to know
where you stand.

Equally as
important
is to note
I'm not there.

Coming from
something serious,
I don't want
to jump right back.

You do realize...?
Not with him
does not mean
Yours.

The intimacy
that I have now
is not
Yours.

The emptiness
that I feel
is not
yours to fill.

The hurt
that I created
is mine.
I need to deal.

You do realize...?
Not with him
Does not make me
Yours to claim.

Love is Not Enough

"You look like you love him a lot."
I do. But love isn't enough.
He is so fantastic to me.
Such an amazing individual.
Not for me? Not right now?

I feel peace about this internal decision.
Fear of loss and pain.
Terrified of what this means
...for both of us.
It hurts me the most
to know how badly I will hurt him.
I love him so much.
Maybe not enough.
Love is not enough.

Personal Ad

WANTED:
Distant and emotionally unstable man. If you're inconsiderate of others, but will cling to me night and day, please call now! If you never like to leave the house, or just can't decide, let's stay in and let you molest me - I mean watch a movie.
CALL NOW


A joke personal ad tailed to my string of past experiences.

Air

What is this?
What now?
Am I just blindly grasping at thin air?

Pretty, Shiny Things

Perhaps,
the best way
to deal with my stress
and frustration
is to take
all my clothes off
and
put on
lots of fancy jewelry

Fight
my depression
with pearls
and jewels
and pretty, shiny things

Have
a drink or two
just to chill the nerves