Basic

Self esteem low tonight
I hate the world a little more than usual

I find myself just as useful as a second opinion

I find that if I'll describe my problem as though I were telling another person, I often have my answer before I even have my words. -ses

Grieving

We've all grieved her upcoming death.
All we can do is wait for her to pass
And then grieve again.
Right now, just the waiting,
Seems like the calm before the storm.


May you rest in peace, Carol.

Double Standard of Thought

I'd tell you what I think
but you'd tell me I shouldn't think that way
and if I called you out on it,
you'd tell me I shouldn't care what you think.

My Silence for Your Suffering

If I tell you my pain,
it will only increase your own.
So silence will be my stance
Until

I wish not to increase your suffering
Even if you don't see it as needless

Irritation

Irritation rubbed,
makes resentment.
Wound not so deep,
now insufferable.

Impatience tugs.
Vision is blurred.
Stillness vanishes,
under rule of chaos.

Pause and breath.
Bring perspective.
Irritation is wrinkle,
life is satisfaction.

Struggling. I feel a need to legitimately call out the problem(s), but I don't want to be the one screaming and pointing fingers.

"If you know what you are going to write when you're writing a poem, it's going to be average." ~ Derek Walcott

Drunk and Depressed

drunk and depressed
always leads to the same thing
me calling on you
to talk to me
whining to you
about how we're
so wrong, so right
crying out to anyone
that i don't understand
these things
that I've got myself into

Different Lifestyles

I want to be more like you,
but I know you're bad for me
and where I aim to go.

I always looked up to you.
Found you to be something wonderful.

Then I grew up.

I still want to be like you.
You're life is so glamorous,
So full of adventure

And trials, I'm sure.

With the things you do,
I'm sure there's no shortage.

The things you do,
The things you feel free to do,
The way you freely give yourself,

It must be painful.
For you mentally;
and for your family to witness.

But perhaps it's that you don't feel,
anymore,
the pain, or much of anything.

You're so beautiful;
Even chocked full of drugs.
I don't look up to you any more.

But I still wish my life
were a little more
like yours.